How to Manifest Reality

One thing you must know in order to master this process, is that the universe is eager to please you. It keeps listening to your thoughts and feelings, waiting for the keywords that pop up in your mind. Whatever images you chose to concentrate on is what you attract, be it the little purple flowers, abundance, or convenient parking spots. Ask and it is given. Unfortunately, if you find yourself concentrating on the things you dread, you attract them into your life instead, as the universe that is listening to your thoughts has no way of distinguishing between things you love or fear. Whatever ideas, thoughts or objects (be they good or bad) you envision, those are the ones that you call into existence. This is what you attract. So, you might as well choose to concentrate on things you want. And all you need to do in order to receive them is to put yourself into the allowing mode. You need to be in the mindset of acceptance in order to be able to see all the paths that lead you to where you want to go, and to notice doors opening in front of you.

Let me tell you a little story. There is a tricky exit from highway 394 that leads directly to a downtown parking ramp. For years, since I have been told about it, I had been convinced that there is no passage way into the city from that exit, even though it had been accurately labeled. Once I put myself into the allowing mode, I noticed that the exit contained options, one led to the parking ramp and another – to the city streets, which ended up being the most convenient rout to my destination. It almost felt like I had been wearing blinders preventing me from seeing the big picture all the years I doubted and therefore blocked that option out.

The way you think and feel influences what you perceive to be true. It also creates a powerful momentum that makes things happen in your life.

Let’s play a little game, just paying attention to your thoughts and feelings. Imagine that your mind was like a smart phone screen. Every time a negative thought of judgement or criticism comes about, you can swipe it away. If it shows up as sounds, hit the deny call button and see it disappear. You can also change the ring tone on this imaginary phone to circus music to remind yourself that the voice of judgment is not to be taken seriously. Go ahead and try it now. Notice the difference. How does that negative thought affect you now? Perhaps the effect is less noticeable, or maybe it even makes you laugh. If you still hear the negative message playing in your mind, make it turn into a voice from one of the children’s cartoons. It is hard to take someone seriously who sounds like a clown, or perhaps like Mickey Mouse, or any character of your choice. That feels better, doesn’t it?

You don’t need to try too hard. If this feels too hard, you are not doing it right.  It could also mean that you are dealing with a strong momentum you have created in the past. If you had been stuck in negative thinking, sacrifice, suffering of any kind, self-deprecation, self-doubt and judgement, it might take some time to allow that old momentum to end. Creating momentum is like pushing a train down a hill. It may require perseverance. First you nudge the train off a little, then it speeds up as you keep applying force by dedicating thoughts to it. If that negative momentum has been going on for a while, it might take some time till it stops completely. Just be patient and kind with yourself and know that change is on the way. As long as you are no longer throwing coal into that steam engine, the train of negative thoughts is already slowing down.

Using a car analogy, concentrating on the things you want, allows you to move forward. It is like putting your car into the drive mode. Self-doubt and negative self-talk create a negative momentum taking you further away from your goals. It is like putting your vehicle into reverse.

I would like to share another game you might like with you. We’ll get to it in a moment. In order to make it most efficient, first we need to make sure you are “in the drive mode,” and that the momentum you are creating is the positive one. Swipe away all the negative thoughts, convert them into silly voices, or just distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts into neutral or slightly positive ones. You can do it by taking time for doing something you love, or just thinking about it. Go ahead and do it now. This changes your state to the state of gratitude, allowing and receptivity. Stay in that state for 17 seconds, or take a whole minute, or three minutes to revel in pleasant thoughts. When you notice a genuine smile on your lips after taking a minute of gratitude, you are ready to start manifesting, because the positive momentum has already started. That smile, that thought and feeling you held onto for just a minute or so has just fueled the boat or train engine of positive momentum. Make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride.

Once you practice positivity this way by plucking out negative thoughts and reinforcing the positive ones, “driving” your vehicle becomes easy and effortless. It is an exercise like any other. Using this “positive thinking muscle” makes it stronger, and the more you do it, the more it turns into a habit and into a way of being. It doesn’t have to be difficult at all, as you don’t need to force it. Just allow yourself to take three one- or three-minute breaks throughout the day to dedicate this time to doing something you really enjoy, thinking about it, or thinking about something or someone you are really grateful for. It is especially easy if you have a pet that makes you smile, or if you start listing all the things that are functioning properly in your life (arms, legs, roof, a drivable vehicle or clean air). It can be anything that is big or small, whatever you can feel grateful for right now.

Any practice only takes twenty-one repetitions until it becomes a habit. Which means, in three weeks, your momentum train will be strong and active. And when it is, the next step in the game I am going to share with you now will be the most fun. Here it is.

After you make sure your state is positive (after taking a moment of gratitude, watching a comedy, or taking a nap), think of what you would like to materialize: a fun party, a pleasant conversation, finding easy parking, or effortlessly buying a gift. When it comes to shopping, once your momentum is up to speed, it becomes surprisingly fun. For example, you may see an outfit in a catalog, and decide that you would like it in a slightly different color and you would be happy to buy it for half that price. Before you know it, you find exactly what you visualized at the exact price you declared reasonable. The same process is applicable to finding an ideal mate or ideal job. However, you might want to practice on little things like outfits and parking spots to get a hang of this manifesting process. Once you become familiar with it, nothing is off limits. Enjoy yourself and have fun with it. That is really the only requirement there is.

 

 

Five Tips for Busy People on How to Set the Day

This short video below is meant to make you smile and also to teach you a few steps of a short morning meditation to help you get yourself into the right state of mind when you can be your best and feel the best you can feel.

Remember, when you are setting the morning, you are setting the day.

  1. As you wake up, before you even open your eyes, try to remember your dreams. Whatever snippets come to mind, jot them down. Dreams reflect subconscious processes. These images may explain what you need to do to achieve change, or how close you are to a breakthrough.
  2. Drink a big glass of water, especially if you also drink coffee or tea. You already knew that, but didn’t always remember to do it, right?
  3. When you brush your teeth, do it with the opposite hand. Doing so helps to exercise your brain, so both, your mind and your body have a chance to wake up.
  4. When you take a shower, finish with a rush of cold water. This will strengthen your immune system, invigorate your body, and put your brain into a super state.
  5. Meditate. When you get into the habit of short and frequent breathing meditation breaks, you become very efficient at controlling your state. It only takes a minute or two to take a few deep breaths into your heart, and to concentrate on something or someone you are grateful for right now. It could be your pet, child, friend, plants, or even your favorite place. Keep breathing into your heart, concentrating on that positive feeling. Now think of a couple of goals you would like to achieve today, while maintaining this feeling of gratitude and appreciation.  Open your eyes with a smile. You are now ready to have a wonderful morning and a great day.

This meditation can be done as you are still laying in bed. Do it whenever it works for you. You can do it as soon as you wake up, or when you sit down to drink your first cup of tea or coffee, or both.  The most important thing to know is that when you focus on positive thoughts and feelings, your mind tunes into receiving more and more of positive messages, reinforcing your initial input. Whenever you notice your thoughts or feelings straying away from neutral, take a deep exhale. Empty the mind by concentrating on your breath. As you inhale, count to four, as you exhale, count to eight, making sure that your exhale is twice is long. This creates space for more neutral or positive feelings and thoughts that you now CHOOSE to invite into your life. Now, find something you can feel grateful about right this moment. It can be anything as small as a whiff of lilacs outside, or knowing that you have a reliable car, and shelter and access to food, or maybe that you have a new outfit that fits you well. Nothing is too small to be grateful for. Stick to this feeling for a few minutes as your keep breathing through it. Notice the change. Allow yourself to smile. You look beautiful when you do. That’s right!

It’s All a Matter of Perspective: Five Erroneous Beliefs and How to Change Them.

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Most of us have no idea how powerful our minds are. Your input, in terms of what you think, do, or say, creates situations that correspond to the mental images you are forming. Sometimes introducing even the most subtle differences may drastically change the outcome. However, learning this subtlety requires constant attention. You must be very careful about what you are thinking, or wishing for.

Maybe you remember a similar childhood moment: a teacher of your least favorite subject is standing in front of the classroom, looking around, deciding who to ask about homework on the previous lesson. You are sitting at your desk, trying to look invisible, thinking, “please, don’t ask me, not now.” The mental image you were creating at that moment centered around you NOT being called upon by the teacher. And then, you got called upon. The reason this happened then and happens every time, is that the universe thinks in pictures, it doesn’t know grammar, and most certainly, cannot understand the word “NOT”, so whatever images you are making, they will keep materializing in your life, unless you catch yourself in time, and consciously create different images instead. In a situation above, a better image to concentrate on would be someone else being called to answer.

Regardless of how old you are or what you do, whenever you find yourself facing unwanted results, explore what you have been concentrating on. Examine your own beliefs and find those that might have created your current situation. Decide for yourself, whether all of your current beliefs serve you now. Societal myths as well as generational ones must be constantly reexamined. Identify a myth and decide if it still holds true for you. Is it serving you well, or is it time to shed it, like old skin, and free yourself from its constraints? You may find a belief that could have been useful at a time, may now need to be reframed. It is possible that you are growing out of it, the way you grew out of your old shoes. Here are a few of such beliefs.

Erroneous belief #1: You have to work hard. ( I will sleep when I die. Only those who make an effort, (struggle, sacrifice, labor) are rewarded.)

In fact, the opposite is true. Effort of forcing yourself to engage in the activities you dislike is counterproductive. How many lessons you were forced to learn against your will, when you were not ready to learn them, stuck with you until now? How much easier is it to learn something that you are open to learning, when you are ready? Allow yourself to do what you enjoy and what comes to you effortlessly and naturally. The universe does not have a requirement for you to keep struggling through everything you achieve. If you chose to do what you enjoy the most, and let others do what comes naturally and effortlessly to them, the world would be a happier place for all. Notice, that when you allow yourself to do the things you enjoy, they come to you easily. Even when you extend energy towards doing them, that does not feel like effort or struggle.

Notice your own abilities, talents, values and virtues. Allow yourself to take pride in your successes, own them. Enjoy your work and play. Focus on designing your life around them. Take credit for your achievements. This will raise your self-confidence and self-trust. Allow yourself to be authentic by sticking to what rings true to you, no matter what others think.

Erroneous belief #2: You must always find the right answer.

There is no one right answer. Find the answer that is right for YOU right NOW. People with low self-esteem or with self-trust issues are often obsessed with right and wrong. They are obsessed with proving themselves right to everyone, even at the expense of losing relationships, as they are often incapable of seeing another perspective.

Fear of not making the right decision forces us to procrastinate, as we refuse to make any decision at all, until we can convince ourselves, that the decision we are finally making is the right one. When solving a problem, it is important to realize that although it’s OK to listen to others’ opinions in order to see their perspectives, you need to make up your own mind in a way that works for you and serves your highest good. No two perspectives can be the same. You will never have all the information to make the right decision. You can’t know everything. Take a risk by making a choice anyway.

Erroneous belief #3: Not taking a risk helps to avoid failure.

Guess what, if you don’t even try, you have already failed. You have failed at all the competitions, races, and projects for which you didn’t sign up. Taking risks is one of the best ways to develop self-trust. It takes courage and allows you to see what you are capable of.

Erroneous belief #4: It is someone else’s fault.

In order to grow out of victimhood mentality, take responsibility for all your choices and decisions, be they good or bad. When we blame others for the decisions we made, we deprive ourselves of learning from these decisions, and of accepting a role of a grown up. You cannot blame someone else without simultaneously acknowledging your own powerlessness. While you see yourself as powerless, you cannot start trusting yourself. You cannot learn the lesson that came with that experience, for in the powerless state it is impossible to see what you did wrong, or which of YOUR actions, thoughts or words created an unfavorable situation. When you do see yourself as a powerful person, you are at an advantage of realizing what you can do differently to avoid the same outcome in the future. When you blame someone else, you recognize them as a victor and yourself as a victim. Such recognition perpetuates the vicious circle of trusting yourself less than others.

Erroneous belief #5: negative feelings (fear, rage, sadness) are shameful. They must be masked or repressed.

To the contrary, all feelings are good. Listen to your feelings. Emotions are a compass leading you through life. They are the instant feedback about the truth of who you are and where you are going. When you ignore your feelings, you get out of touch with yourself. Most people wage a war with their feelings by either engaging in distractive behaviors (overeating, drinking, smoking), or taking suppressing drugs. By chemically suppressing your guiding instrument, the compass that leads you through life, you muddy your intuition and impair the self-trust. You abandon yourself, deprive yourself of unconditional love by not recognizing your feelings, not honoring your boundaries, and not accepting yourself and the present moment just the way it is.

Start trusting yourself, by giving yourself unconditional approval, love, encouragement, respect and acceptance no matter how you are feeling right now. This will help you develop a new connection to yourself, and know that you are your best personal friend, a friend that can be trusted (not a fair weather one, that sticks around only when your health is good, and feelings are positive).

Perhaps a simple exercise in power of thought will help you to acknowledge your own strength. Try this: visualize a very convenient parking spot every time you set out driving, and see how much easier it becomes to find one.

As you get accustomed to visualizing desired results in any area of life: work, relationships or even shopping, you will be constantly surprised by powerful results.

If you are not driving or operating heavy machinery, start by making yourself comfortable, taking a few deep breaths and closing your eyes. Imagine that you start drifting and rising gently over your chair, room, rooftop until you can see the whole street, city, state all at once, as the earth keeps gently turning down below. Notice how everything looks from up there in the sky as you open up to your limitless imagination, allowing yourself to see things differently. After all, it’s all a matter of perspective.

Hypnosis versus Talk Therapy

American Health Magazine reported these findings from a recent study: • Psychoanalysis: 8% recovery after 600 sessions • Behavior Therapy: 72% recovery after 22 sessions • Hypnotherapy: 93% recovery after 6 sessions (From Does Hypnosis Work? A Comparison Study by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD)

There are different schools of thought regarding hypnosis, and how it should work. Sometimes hypnotists rely on the “magic effect” that makes you experience the state you are looking for immediately, within a session or two. This approach may be effective, however, unless you work on the root cause of your issues or let go of the core beliefs that no longer serve you, results of hypnosis may wear off with time. The school of thought that works for me is based on slower and longer lasting results, as I teach my clients to go in deeper and learn self-awareness through relaxation, self-hypnosis and other tools they can use to achieve desired goals even when I am not around.

Talk therapy is usually organized in such a way, that you talk, and your therapist listens. The goal is to allow you to talk through a problem, with an expectation of you finding a solution, or starting to feel better. However, your talking about problems doesn’t necessarily change anything. Sometimes, it creates more problems, as by repeating a story in the same way over and over again, you cement it into your brain. Neurons that fire together, wire together. Besides, it takes a while to figure out why certain things happen, or why you feel, act and respond to triggers in a certain way. It often takes three to five years to achieve change with talk therapy according to the American Health Magazine statistics.

Hypnosis usually produces faster results, as it allows to break up the patterns by rewiring your neurons in different ways. It uses the power of the subconscious mind, so you don’t have to re-experience the pain, or pin point the exact origins of trauma. Some issues can be healed bypassing the conscious process.  The subconscious mind operates in pictures and images. For the subconscious mind it doesn’t matter whether a situation happened in real life, or you imagined it. That is why, when you visualize your goals in a very relaxed comfortable state, you create memories that become your new known. So, when you focus your attention in a very relaxed state on a goal and visualize it as something you have already attained, your mind begins to accept it as something you already experienced, something that is familiar and safe.

Hypnosis may also allow a flow of dialogue between the conscious and the subconscious mind, so we can find out what the subconscious mind has been doing to prevent you from achieving your goals so far. Subconscious mind is like a child that is doing its best to protect you. Sometimes it makes a decision unbeknownst to you to prevent you from achieving a goal that seems dangerous or threatening in some way.

Hypnotists often use the power of storytelling, making up stories that may make no sense for the conscious mind, because they are designed to be heard by the subconscious mind, the one that is acting up like a scared little child. Storytelling is a way to get through to the subconscious mind, connecting it to the conscious mind, and getting all parts of the person on board with the task at hand.

Imagine that your mind is a ship, sailing the high seas. You can take it anywhere you want, explore different lands, achieve many different purposes, trading, carrying passengers to vacation places or returning home. Your conscious mind (the one you are aware of) is the captain. Your subconscious mind (the part of you that operates based on the default programming below the level of consciousness) is the crew. Let me ask you this, who makes a decision for the ship to leave the port and sail off?

Yes, it is the captain that makes and verbalizes a decision, however, if the crew is in mutiny, the ship will never sail. And the crew may be holding out on you, on the ship, for a very good reason. That reason always has to do with protecting you from pain, or from a perceived threat. For most people, when this happens, that means that somewhere in the childhood, or later along the way, there was a traumatic event that influenced you in a way that you developed a block preventing you from moving forward.

You may start feeling a major shift in your thinking after the first session. However, I do not promise immediate results. Most of my clients report feeling a profound difference after five sessions, some require ten. Everyone is different. It also depends on how many issues need changing, and how ready you are to work on them. In my practice I structure sessions around building up awareness, as I notice that when I teach people to do this work on their own, starting with breathing, relaxation, self-hypnosis understanding self without judgement, and learning the way of unconditional love and self-acceptance, the results they achieve are long lasting and meaningful.

Is It OK to Do Nothing?

So often we force ourselves to work hard, take long hours, stay awake through the night, finishing up our tasks and chores. There is a pervasive myth in our culture, that in order to succeed one must work hard, one should sacrifice personal joy and comfort for the sake of achieving ambitious goals, making more money, providing more for the family… Have any of these statements shaped your reality and how you think about what you should or shouldn’t do?

Early bird gets the worm… We’ll sleep when we die… You will never amount to anything, unless you work hard…

What if I tell you, that none of that is true. The universe does not care about your early rising. It does not need you to deprive yourself of sleep. Many people schedule their lives around the hours that are comfortable for them. Many actors and dancers are happy to wake up at noon, as the peak of their productivity falls on night hours. You don’t even have to agree to take upon yourself every assignment that comes your way. There are other ways to create a sustainable life style without overextending and overexerting yourself. Perhaps you can cut some of your spending by moving into a smaller house, or start eating at home, making an investment that works for you, and allowing yourself to take more time for rest and play.

Scandinavian countries offer their citizens substantial vacations, based to this simple math: People that take plenty of time to rest, to unwind, and play, rarely get sick. Incidentally, there is another positive side effect of working less: they have a much lower divorce rate. Play time is essential for every child to learn, and for every adult to process. The sense of guilt imposed on us by societal mythology that makes us “pick ourselves up by out bootstraps” and  work without proper rest at all times, prevents us from having our essential needs met, undermining health, and shortening lives.

Limiting beliefs are like a tunnel. By subscribing to a limiting belief, you eliminate many doors, and many options from your field of view. These options become unavailable as long as you conceptualize your reality in this exclusive way. When you open up to accepting yourself with all your quirks and needs, no matter how big or small, the tunnel fades away and you start noticing a variety of options that have always been there. So, yes, if you need to rest, it is perfectly acceptable, in fact, it is even mandatory, that you allow yourself to do nothing, decompress, vegetate, listen to your body and do what it asks. The mind lies, the body tells the truth. The mind, being a subservient creature, will obligingly make up any story to justify your beliefs, actions or decisions.

All events and decisions are neutral. The universe does not care what decision you chose to make, and how you organize your life. It loves you unconditionally. The only mantra you need to remember is this, “Never SHOULD yourself.” Fall in love with yourself, and allow yourself to be loved the way you want to be loved. Allow yourself to enjoy this time fully. You are unique and a gift to the world just the way you are. By being kind to yourself and allowing yourself to be exactly who you are and do exactly what you need in this moment without judgement you are allowing yourself to love yourself unconditionally. This unconditional love creates awareness that opens you up to an ability to love another. It is not unlike forming a skill, an exercise in loving acceptance. Meet your needs fully, so that you could accept the needs of others without judgement, and allow them to be who they are. This unconditional acceptance and love that starts with the self, creates trust, that is an essential component of a balanced relationship, be it a relationship with yourself, or with the world.

So, yes, enjoy yourself, and do nothing, whenever you feel like it. YOU are creating your own reality that suits who you are.

Solutions for Stress

Many people found the last few weeks around the elections very stressful and disappointing. Not everyone is happy with the results. And even those who are risk losing their friends and disengaging from the loved ones because of the heated arguments. Take a deep breath. Things are not as bad as they seem. I am happy to give you a stress relieving session so that you could put your worries aside, restore peace in your heart and reconcile.

On top of elections we have a few holidays on the way. Generally, people find the period from Thanksgiving through the New Year a very stressful one, even though we’re taught that it is supposed to be a time of joy and celebration. We often are confronted with numerous conflicts and inflated or unrealistic expectations, traffic, overeating, overspending and over-committing to parties and sending gifts.

Sometimes the Best Solution is the Simplest One. Remember to

  • Plan longer time cushions to leave for, and arrive to functions in a punctual manner.
  • Take a few minutes to write out what you can realistically accomplish during this busy time. Writing lists can assist in prioritizing what’s important and what’s not so important.
  • Make a budget for gift giving that fits your own budget to avoid unnecessary credit card balance buildup.
  • Practice assertive communication to be able to say “no” diplomatically and enforce your boundaries of contact or involvement. Remember, IT’S OK to say “NO.” You are responsible for your own happiness and peace. Practice self care, be kind to yourself and be mindful of your own needs. It’s OK to put yourself first now. If your energy is depleted, you won’t have anything to give. Concentrate on “filling your own cup” first. Treat yourself to a nice relaxing massage. Give yourself a gift.Start practicing loving kindness to yourself. And if you want to pick an issue you need to work on, or a goal you want to achieve, come and talk to me. Together, we can make it happen: Hypnosis is effective at turning the unknowns into knowns, as you visualize your goal in a very relaxed state without anxiety. Your subconscious mind cannot tell between reality and imagination. By imagining your goal accomplished you are adding another book to the library of your subconscious mind, and you learn how to access it whenever you need it. Hypnosis is also great at boosting self confidence. Most people need a little bit of self confidence work now and then. You can also give yourself a gift of working on your general self improvement goals with hypnosis. Think of what else you need to attract into your life, and what needs to be released as seasons change and the new year arrives bringing a new wonderful adventure. What will it be?

The Autumn Leaves

A few days ago a local station aired a beautiful song in Spanish. The melody and the voice of the singer went so well with the shower of golden leaves all around. Her voice was strong and gentle, it said, “the autumn leaves of my ancient loves are flying away in the wind. I am that wind that makes them swirl and wonder about as they disappear, clearing the space for my present. I am free of the past and ready to move forward, as my old pains fly away further and further, with each breath I take today.” You too can be an autumn wind of change. Let go of the old pains. Autumn is a perfect time for letting go.

Hypnosis Tools

In hypnotherapy we use NLP with guided imagery, Ericksonian and Kapassinian approaches, behavioral and cognitive therapy. My personal favorite is dream analysis. If you want to keep record of how your subconscious mind operates, and how it solves your everyday problems, start recording your dreams now. Include the time you woke up and the date. Your subconscious mind uses the most unsuspected materials to craft meaningful images. You will learn how to interpret them, and what lessons they bring you. I will give you a hand.

Hypnotic State Measured

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

Just remain in the center; watching.  And then forget that you are there.

Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher in the quotes above describes the state of mind that we seek in hypnosis. It is a combination of complete relaxation and utmost concentration. Nowadays, both states can easily be measured. A neuroscientist Chris Berka of Advanced Brain Monitoring does just that. She works with athletes and performers to help them tap into a state of extreme mental focus, called being “in the zone.” The zone state (which amateurs can achieve too) has a particular signature in the brain activity: alpha and theta waves. It is the combination of the two that we access in hypnosis as well. Chris Berka turns laymen into experts in one day through a series of exercises bringing their alpha and theta waves to the prominent levels while monitoring these frequencies while her clients focus and relax.

Alpha waves are a type of brain waves usually detected either by electroencephalography (EEG) or magnetoencephalography (MEG). They predominantly originate from the occipital lobe during wakeful relaxation with closed eyes.

Theta waves generate the theta rhythm recorded either from inside the brain or from electrodes glued to the scalp. The function of the hippocampal theta rhythm is attributed to arousal and sensorimotor processing, learning and memory.

In order to achieve the results described above you need to experience a state of light trance and relaxation (alpha waves), and concentrate (theta waves) in a very relaxed way on the goals for which you are striving.This is exactly how hypnosis works.